The Wallstadt Review
Friday, October 31, 2008
I am sorry
Today a guy from the lab and I were in charge of some programming tutorials at the university. Since I cannot speak the language of the natives very well, I had some trouble explaining the basics to the students. Now there was this one female student who seemed rather lost with the tasks. Other students and I tried to help her, and she managed to do one part of the exercise. Then she asked me if she would have time for finishing the exercise. I said that we would stay for another 15 minutes or so; she decided that that wasn't enough time, and she started to wrap up her work. Then the other guy in charge asked her if she was finished, and she said no, and then she started crying ... and gosh, I felt kind of bad.
I mean, when she asked me if she would have more time, perhaps she was trying to ask me if I was going to stay there to help her. And I said no (well, not exactly, but saying that we would stay only for another 15 mins pretty much amounts to that.). Now there are two reasons why I declined (albeit indirectly) to help her: first, my language problems, and second my social skills problem. The first one is clear, but the second one is a worrying problem that I realized only until recently. I think the main cause for the latter is my lack of practice, especially during the entire past year. In the lab, where I spent most of my time, I talk to no one within a social context. Just a kind greeting in the morning as well as in the evening. But besides that, nothing; nada. At some point I started talking to myself; I then started also worrying about becoming a schizo at such a young age, LOL! Outside the lab I know almost no one. To be honest, relinquishing social interaction has benefits, but also drawbacks. I don't want to delve into these two aspects, but I suspect that Man was not supposed to be alone. In any case, I have realized over the past weeks that my social skills have deteriorated (due to a myriad of reasons), and this is not beneficial for me or for those poor people with whom I interact. I certainly have to address this (serious?) problem; the question that remains is how??
In any case, I again digress. The bottom line is: this day shall pass to posterity as the first day I made a young woman cry: I am very sorry, I really am; it was not my intention, at all! Sorry!
I mean, when she asked me if she would have more time, perhaps she was trying to ask me if I was going to stay there to help her. And I said no (well, not exactly, but saying that we would stay only for another 15 mins pretty much amounts to that.). Now there are two reasons why I declined (albeit indirectly) to help her: first, my language problems, and second my social skills problem. The first one is clear, but the second one is a worrying problem that I realized only until recently. I think the main cause for the latter is my lack of practice, especially during the entire past year. In the lab, where I spent most of my time, I talk to no one within a social context. Just a kind greeting in the morning as well as in the evening. But besides that, nothing; nada. At some point I started talking to myself; I then started also worrying about becoming a schizo at such a young age, LOL! Outside the lab I know almost no one. To be honest, relinquishing social interaction has benefits, but also drawbacks. I don't want to delve into these two aspects, but I suspect that Man was not supposed to be alone. In any case, I have realized over the past weeks that my social skills have deteriorated (due to a myriad of reasons), and this is not beneficial for me or for those poor people with whom I interact. I certainly have to address this (serious?) problem; the question that remains is how??
In any case, I again digress. The bottom line is: this day shall pass to posterity as the first day I made a young woman cry: I am very sorry, I really am; it was not my intention, at all! Sorry!
# posted by T.M.H.G.N.v.K. @ 10/31/2008 07:26:00 pm 
